|Portrayed by - Noel Fielding|
|Occupation - Zookeeper/Shopkeeper|
|Associated with: - Zooniverse, The Flat, Nabootique|
|First appearance - Pilot|
|Interests - Latest fashion, music, and his hair.|
- "I mean, look at you; feather cut, the pointy features. Put you in the '50s, you'd be imprisoned for being a witch. They'd lock you in a trunk!"
- ―Howard Moon on Vince
- "Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man...Made from the tears of Robert Smith!"
- ―Vince Noir to Howard Moon
Vince Noir (Noel Fielding) is "King of the Mods" and Howard's best friend. Vince is always up to date with the latest fashion and has his own "style" which consists of very flamboyant and bizzare clothing and hats; all of which he says suits him (and all but one of which do). Vince has worked as a zookeeper and a shopkeeper, as well as being sponsored for his fashion and is occasionally featured in fashion magazine, Cheek-bone.
Vince was supposedly brought up by Bryan Ferry in a forest, where events similar to "The Jungle Book" occurred, including when apes tried to "steal his face" although they actually just wanted to look human. In his later life he was then given a proper education at a school, where he met and became friends with Howard Moon despite Howard looking like he was 40 years old. In his final year of schooling, Howard assured Vince "GCSE's not important" - though he has BTEC National's in Art and Hair Design and later studied Fashion- and they both got a job at Bob Fossil's Zooniverse. After the zoo's closure the two lived in a flat in above Naboo's shop in Dalston called "Nabootique" which the two later went on to work in.
Vince uses he/him pronouns, and his gender presentation varies with his outfits. He never objects to being referred to as a woman or as Howard's wife. His song lyrics "I am electro boy; I am electro girl" seem to suggest some gender fluidity though that is never explored.
Whomever he loves, what can be said with certainty is that he's bisexual. His brain cell in Season 3 Episode 2 "Journey to the Centre of a Punk" says that he "swings both ways".
Vince has been seen flirting with girls and in Season 1 Episode 6 "Charlie", says that he likes "thick" girls who like music and soft fabrics. An equal. The only date Vince has on screen is with a panda in Season 1. He doesn't react fearfully in Season 3 Episode 5 "Party" when Naboo jokes that a demon trapped in the 'spin the bottle' bottle will only possess the body of a virgin, which could serve as evidence of him having had sex in the past.
The nature of Vince and Howard's relationship is one of interest. In series 1, episode 4 "Tundra", Howard tells Vince that he loves him. Vince laughs and insists that he loves Howard too when Howard gets defensive. How either of them mean the word 'love' is not explained. Vince never denies being Howard's wife when mistaken for a woman. In Season 3, episode 5 "Party", Vince declares that he's in love with Howard in order to avoid being attacked by Denis. He kisses Howard as proof, and Howard experiences a moment of realization where he proclaims that he's been in love with Vince all along and that the bickering was all sexual tension. Vince seems cautious and tells Howard not to fall for someone just because they show him the slightest bit of affection. When they fall off of the roof onto the bouncy castle and Howard starts to flirt with 'pencil case girl', Vince appears to become jealous: "Hey, we kissed up there!", and says that he'll never love again.
Vince calls himself a "sunshine kid" as he is always happy and content with things, despite his life often being filled with misfortune and strange monsters. He is very optimistic about everything, and one of the only things that can get him down is fashion-related crises, such as someone copying his style. Vince often tries to convince Howard to become more happy but is always unsuccessful as his "morale-boosting" conversations usually turn into him insulting Howard about his (lack of) fashion sense, style and charm. Vince also states that "it is impossible to be unhappy in a poncho". Vince is also extremely vain and often looks at himself in the mirror and talks about how good he looks.
He's much less uptight than Howard and not as level headed, but he does have moments of clarity. In "Tommy", he's impatient to go back to the zoo because he finds Tommy extremely boring.
Vince often goes through phases of being interested in something, and usually attempts to be a part of this phase that he usually hears about through fashion magazine, "Cheek-bone". These phases have included being a mod, a goth, a punk among other things, but his phases rarely last longer than an episode.
- The Human League
- Gary Numan
- Mod style
- Punk music/fashion
- His reflection
- Bouncy castles
- The zoo (Series 1)
- His hair
- Terry Nutkins
- Jazz (especially scat - the main offender)
- Bad fashion
- Being mostly unsuccessful with women
- Not being on trend
- Was supposedly brought up in the forest by Bryan Ferry.
- He has a burn scar on his waist from where "he fell asleep on his Nicky Clarke straightener's when he was pissed"
- He is a very good artist, but paints Howard with a pink balloon for a head (although Mrs. Gideon claims it looks just like Howard).
- Wrote a story about "Charlie", a glam rock monster made of pink bubblegum which Vince publishes himself (by placing the stories in packages of Weetabix at the supermarket).
- Vince has been in many bands, including an electro band with two girls and "Johnny-two-hats", a goth band with two girls (who look similar to the electro band), a punk band called "Terminal Margaret" with whom he sung the song "I Did A Shit On Your Mum" and a glam rock/folk music combo band with his friend Leroy.
- He has got a BTEC National in Hair Design and Art.
- Given the nickname "The Midnight Barber", because he cuts people's hair while they sleep, such as Howard (who thought his hair just grew slowly) and the captain of a ship (who threw Vince and Howard overboard because of his new mullet).
- It is said several times that he can talk to animals (for example, when talking to the python in series 1, episode 2), and refers to himself as "Mowgli, the retro version". (Howard also refers to him as "Mowgli in flares".)