Vince Noir
Portrayed by   -   Noel Fielding
Occupation   -   Zookeeper/Shopkeeper
Associated with:   -   Zooniverse, The Flat, Nabootique
First appearance   -   Pilot
Interests   -  Latest fashion, music, and his hair.

"I mean, look at you; feather cut, the pointy features. Put you in the '50s, you'd be imprisoned for being a witch. They'd lock you in a trunk!"
Howard Moon on Vince
"Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man...Made from the tears of Robert Smith!"
Vince Noir to Howard Moon

Vince Noir (Noel Fielding) is "King of the Mods" and Howard's best friend. Vince is always up to date with the latest fashion and has his own "style" which consists of very flamboyant and bizzare clothing and hats; all of which he says suits him (and all but one of which do). Vince has worked as a zookeeper and a shopkeeper, as well as being sponsored for his fashion and is occasionally featured in fashion magazine, Cheek-bone. hes a fuckin sex god too.

Biography[edit | edit source]

Vince was supposedly brought up by Bryan Ferry in a forest, where events similar to "The Jungle Book" occurred, including when apes tried to "steal his face" although they actually just wanted to look human. In his later life he was then given a proper education at a school, where he met and became friends with Howard Moon despite Howard looking like he was 40 years old. In his final year of schooling, Howard assured Vince "GCSE's not important" - though he has BTEC National's in Art and Hair Design and later studied Fashion- and they both got a job at Bob Fossil's Zooniverse. After the zoo's closure the two lived in a flat in above Naboo's shop in Dalston called "Nabootique" which the two later went on to work in.

Vince has a very small love life but is interested in girls who are into the same fashion and music as him (always played by Noel Fielding's real life girlfriend Delia Gaitskell (Dee Plume) of Robots in Disguise). Although he is usually unsuccessful at getting any girls, he is a lot more successful than Howard. He is often referred to as a "Young Lady" and is usually a target for some minor male characters throughout the series. Despite mostly targeting women with his affection, he is revealed to be bisexual in series 3, and expressed jealousy when Howard confessed his love to him, and then went after a girl. Howard rejected him, at which point Vince admitted he would "Never love again."

Characteristics[edit | edit source]

Vince calls himself a "sunshine kid" as he is always happy and content with things, despite his life often being filled with misfortune and strange monsters. He is very optimistic about everything, and one of the only things that can get him down is fashion-related crises, such as someone copying his style. Vince often tries to convince Howard to become more happy but is always unsuccessful as his "moral-boosting" conversations usually turn into him insulting Howard about his (lack of) fashion sense, style and charm. Vince also states that "it is impossible to be unhappy in a poncho". Vince is also a complete narcissist and often looks at himself in the mirror and talks about how good he looks.

He's much less uptight than Howard and not as level headed, but he does have moments of clarity. In "Tommy", he's impatient to go back to the zoo because he finds Tommy extremely boring.

Phases[edit | edit source]

Vince often goes through phases of being interested in something, and usually attempts to be a part of this phase that he usually hears about through fashion magazine, "Cheek-bone". These phases have included being a mod, a goth, a punk among other things, but his phases rarely last longer than an episode.

Likes:[edit | edit source]

  • Howard
  • Naboo
  • Bollo
  • Fashion
  • The Human League
  • Gary Numan
  • Mod style
  • Punk music/fashion
  • His reflection
  • Music
  • Crimping
  • Parties
  • Bouncy castles
  • The zoo (Series 1)
  • Animals
  • His hair
  • Terry Nutkins

Dislikes:[edit | edit source]

  • Jazz (especially scat - the main offender)
  • Bad fashion
  • Being mostly unsuccessful with women
  • Being hit on by minor male characters
  • Not being on trend

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Was supposedly brought up in the forest by Bryan Ferry.
  • He has a burn scar on his waist from where "he fell asleep on his Nicky Clarke straightener's when he was pissed"
  • He is a very good artist, but paints Howard with a pink balloon for a head (although Mrs. Gideon claims it looks just like Howard).
  • Wrote a story about "Charlie", a glam rock monster made of pink bubblegum which Vince publishes himself (by placing the stories in packages of Weetabix at the supermarket).
  • Vince has been in many bands, including an electro band with two girls and "Johnny-two-hats", a goth band with two girls (who look similar to the electro band), a punk band called "Terminal Margaret" with whom he sung the song "I Did A Shit On Your Mum" and a glam rock/folk music combo band with his friend Leroy.
  • He has got a BTEC National in Hair Design and Art.
  • Given the nickname "The Midnight Barber", because he cuts people's hair while they sleep, such as Howard (who thought his hair just grew slowly) and the captain of a ship (who threw Vince and Howard overboard because of his new mullet).
  • It is said several times that he can talk to animals (for example, when talking to the python in series 1, episode 2), and refers to himself as "Mowgli, the retro version". (Howard also refers to him as "Mowgli in flares".)
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