The Priest and the Beast

Rudi Directed by  Paul King
Written by    Julian Barratt
                       Noel Fielding
Air Date         2 August 2005

Series Two Episodes:

  1. Call of the Yeti
  2. The Priest and the Beast
  3. Nanageddon
  4. Fountain of Youth
  5. The Legend of Old Gregg
  6. The Nightmare of Milky Joe

All episodes: 123

The Priest & the Beast is the second episode of Series Two.


Vince and Howard are struggling to find a new sound needed to secure them a record deal with Pie Face Records. They enlist the help of Naboo who tells them the story of musical gurus Rudi van Disarzio and Spider Dijon, who only found their new sound after saving a town full of women from the evil Betamax Bandit.

Songs featuredEdit

  • "Searching For the New Sound" – a song about searching for the new sound, performed by Rudi and Spider.
  • "Rudi's Quest" – a song about finding the new sound, performed by Rudi on his own.
  • "Spider Lovin'" – performed by Spider in the bar.
  • "El Sonido Nuevo" – the song showcasing "the new sound", performed by Rudi and Spider.

Minor characters featuredEdit

Spider DijonEdit

Spider (Noel Fielding) is one half of The Bongo Brothers.

He is called "Spider" because he has 8 penises/penii.

Rudi van Disarzio Edit

Rudi (Julian Barratt) is the other half of The Bongo Brothers


Also known as "The Woolen Bullet", Monkey is the outsider woman of the village in this episode. She's strange, she has visions, she drinks her own urine and she smells of peanuts, and we eventually learn that she deliberately makes herself unappetizing so that Betamax won't ravage her. Rudi's look reminds her of her cross-eyed dead father, and her look reminds Rudi of the pig he used to have when he was younger. Far from being insulted, Monkey is delighted by the comparison, since she has a secret passion for her pet pig and longs to marry him and ride him around the village square. Rudi and Monkey share a strange understanding, and she asks Rudi that "the next time you see that pig, or eat a peanut sandwich...think of me." Her character is loosesly based on the character "monkey" from the film Stalker (1979)

Betamax BanditEdit

Betamax (Rich Fulcher) is a feared obsolete format who terrorizes a small run-down desert village. It was believed his anger originated from him becoming obsolete because of VHS, until he reveals his rage is in reality because Spider made love to his wife. He vents his fury by killing any men he finds in the village.

He seems to be a formidable opponent in combat, able to reel in his enemies with strands of Betamax tape. Still, he appears to be vulnerable to fusion guitar licks, which turns out to be fortuitous for the Bongo Brothers, since this is Rudi's chosen form of attack.

Betamax is defeated when Spider rewinds him back into his original cassette form as he painfully utters "a little to the left" (in Rich Fulcher's catch phrase). He is then taped over with the snooker.


  • The Townswoman - The townswoman tempts Spider back to the village.
  • Razorlight (themselves) - Along with The Bongo Brothers, Razorlight are looking for the new sound in the desert.
  • Chris de Burgh - Also seen searching for the new sound. Played by Ray Fielding, Noel's father.
  • Roger Daltrey (himself) - Seen hoovering the desert at the end, presumably as a karmic consequence of leaving Woodstock early and not helping to clean up.


Along with the appearance of Matt Berry as Dixon Bainbridge, Richard Ayoade as Saboo, Alice Lowe's portrayal of Monkey marks the third regular from Garth Marenghi's Darkplace to show up on The Mighty Boosh.

External linksEdit

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