|Portrayed by - Noel Fielding|
|Associated with: - Black Lake|
|First appearance - The Legend of Old Gregg|
|Interests - Funk music, "all things that are good", Howard Moon, Baileys Irish Cream, watercolours, love games.|
- "I'm Old Gregg!"
- ―Old Gregg
Old Gregg's anatomy and species classification could be a topic of debate. Some say they could be half man half fish, others say it might be more of a 70/30 split. What may be certain is that they might possess strange seaweed-like hair, webbed fingers and green/scaly skin. They could have the ability to walk upright, but at times revert to a frog-like crouch. This might allude to the splicing of human and aquatic dweller DNA, or possibly a mutation of the former. This could be further supported by Gregg's genitals, more commonly referred to as their "mangina". This strange organ(s) could emit a blinding light that may possess neurally disruptive qualities, as it might send Howard Moon into a state of unconsciousness, or he might have possibly just fainted from the shock.
Little is known about Gregg's early life, with few clues as to their origin. It can be speculated that they had an at least partially normal upbringing, due to their admission that they received an A+ in the secondary school course of Home Economics, for baking a crumble.
Regardless of these earlier years, Gregg eventually ended up inhabiting a deep cavern beneath the Black Lake. Their isolation and subsequent loneliness seems to have led to odd and homicidal behavior, evident in the horror stories that the fisherman of Black Lake hold true. Three documented cases of a person encountering Old Gregg exist:
- The Case of Curly (aka Carly) Jefferson: Little is known about this altercation except the outcome, in which Jefferson was mounted like a fish trophy and hung on Gregg's cave wall.
- The Case of Mr Hopkins: Unlike Jefferson, Mr Hopkins managed to escape Old Gregg's clutches, but not without serious mental trauma that sends him into panic attacks upon the mention of his assailant's name.
- The Case of Howard Moon: While fishing alone on the Black Lake, during the full moon (Gregg's most active time period), Moon's boat was boarded by Gregg, who proceeded to intimidate him before subduing their victim with their "mangina" light-source. When Moon awoke in Gregg's abode, he attempted to leave without causing any ill-feeling, but was soon exasperated by Gregg's poorly conceived attempts at seduction. When Moon insulted Gregg, he was shown the Jefferson trophy, and quickly "changed" his mind about Gregg, claiming he was playing hard to get. The two then broke into spontaneous song, singing "Love Games" together. Later, over dinner, Gregg shows Howard "The Funk", before proposing. Howard reluctantly accepts in order to ascertain The Funk and to leave the cave, and is then shown driving off with his companions, with Old Gregg standing on top of Howard's van in a wedding dress.
Old Gregg resides in an sub-aquatic cave that is known as Gregg's Place. The cave contains a cocktail bar stocked with creamy Bailey's, as well as small-scale disco lights.
Gregg enjoys doing water-colours, with self portraiture and the alcoholic drink Bailey's being a common theme. Their portfolio includes:
- Old Gregg I: This piece depicts Gregg in seated position, sporting what appears to be a penis, or perhaps just the leg of the chair they are sitting on.
- Old Gregg II: This piece shows Gregg in a less erotic, more whimsical pose, with one hand on their forehead.
- Old Gregg III: This piece is a self-portrait, showing just the facial region.
- Baileys: A depiction of a Baileys bottle.
- Baileys, A Bit Bigger: A depiction of Baileys bottle, slightly larger than its predecessor.
- As Close As You Can Get to Baileys Without Your Eyes Getting Wet: A piece of beige paper.
- Old Gregg returned in series 3, in a deleted scene from the episode "Party". In this scene, Howard is shown leading what he believes to be an attractive, young, jazz-loving woman to his bedroom, but after he goes into the room, the 'woman' tears off her human face, revealing Old Gregg underneath. They announce that they are "Going to give (Howard) the time of his life" before adding "I'm Old Gregg!" and proceeding into the bedroom.
- Old Gregg appears at the end of the Mighty Boosh Live Tour, emerging from a giant present delivered to Howard. At the end of the show Howard invites Old Gregg into his wheelbarrow.